Many shrinking congregations are today contemplating closing their doors.  Covid-19, aging congregations and fewer young people are among the reasons. But where there are two churches geographically near to one another, a church merger offers many viable possibilities for reviving the health and welfare of both parishes. Such arrangements can certainly be very complicated. Their success depends in part on some good chemistry, clear and transparent communication, and being open to the Holy Spirit.

At the Orange County parishes of St. Paul’s, Chester and St. Anne’s, Washingtonville we have chosen this route—with a twist. In the first stage, we are keeping both churches open while alternating worship services each week between the two locations (which are nine miles apart). We feel this step is essential in order to create a sense of oneness at the outset among the members of our two parishes. By taking it, both congregations can worship together and develop personal bonds among members before deciding, in stage 2, which church building to sell. The funds from that sale can then be used to build and fortify the resulting community.

There are reasons why this merger is likely to work. The two communities have a common vision. The leadership of the two congregations is learning from this process the importance of certain shared virtues—foremost of which are being non-judgmental and willing to put more effort into listening to each other than in talking. Good listening takes much more effort but pays big dividends in making things happen. In addition, a healthy church community requires a safe space in which all of our members can be heard and appropriately supported. What are needed are lovers and supporters, not bystanders—and the wisdom to discern between loving and enabling.

St. Ann’s, Washingtonville

Most religious groups adhere to two main principals: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. It sounds so simple and is heard so often, but it is very, very hard to do. Who are our neighbors—do we get to pick and choose the ones that agree with us and look like we do? Does judging cripple our efforts to support our neighbors? What kind of support do our neighbors really need?

The need in the process of melding our two Episcopalian congregations to listen to the points of view of others and take account of their personal needs can help us, the parishioners, to discern what love requires of us. At the same time, the efforts we expend in preserving our two parishes will create a place for others to come for spiritual renewal, learning, and healing; to be uplifted by religious music; and to experience a supportive religious community—a community that disregards ethnic backgrounds and the gender of the person one chooses to love in marriage. Indeed, this is a space where all can come to confront the ultimate questions to which we all, at different junctures in our lives, need answers—such as: from where does the meaning in life come? From where does true security derive? Is it from social status, or from finances, or from jobs, or exclusive social groups, or from iPhones and digital devices?

It is important for church leaders to have the humility to know that no group of humans has a lock on the truth. In our case, those leaders, including the Rev. Claire Lofgren, who has been priest-in-charge at St. Anne’s for the last three years, are ready and willing to go down the road less traveled with those who wish to uncover the true meaning in their lives. Our newly-configured churches continue to offer weddings, baptisms, Eucharists, and funerals. Welcome and rejoice.