Light in the Darkness
Articles by Inmates of the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, Feature Articles
Published in the Fall 2020 issue.
Imagine just going along in your life, going to work, raising your children. Then, you find yourself arrested and finally, sentenced. Throughout the ordeal, you pray God will answer your prayers; “they’ve made a mistake.” In the infinite wisdom of the universe I am now sitting in prison. I must face the loss of family, home, possessions- everything the world values.
I began to wonder what did I do to make God so angry with me? Why did He allow this to happen? The faith I had, but had never nurtured, began to fade. The sense of loss was so profound there were no words to describe it. I felt forgotten by God. In my being, inside of me, the search began to try to fill the hole left by the loss of so much of my world and life.
I went to church, but since the service was Catholic and I was registered as a Protestant, I could not receive communion. I began a campaign to see if someone from a local Episcopal church could bring communion to me. I felt I needed to start with what was familiar in order to heal.
These new services begin. As I listened, I began to think. The comparisons made between today and what happened as described in the Bible were really not so difficult to see. God gave His only Son to forgive our sins. It’s a big price Jesus paid! I still have my life; I have the ability to start again, Jesus did not.
Little by little, over time, through my attendance at these services, a deeper understanding of my purpose here and now began to unfurl. A tiny light began to shine through all the darkness. I started to realize as long as my faith remained strong and my belief in God and His Son was also strong, there was nothing which could not be survived.
The messages from the church services as they are applied to every-day life, have changed the way I think about situations, and people. I feel and think differently about things.
I believe the life, as I knew it, no longer exists, by what has been placed in that empty space inside is the light of God’s deep, abiding love, and my faith rests in such love.